opposites attract

when i was in third grade, we participated in "buddies" where you were paired up with a first grader to be "buddies" with. 

i was a quiet kid. 

these incompetent asses (my teacher and the first grade teacher) paired me up with another quiet kid.

they should have paired me up with someone who was really outgoing and social. a social butterfly would ask me tons of questions and get me out of my shell.

two quiet kids paired together is going to be super awkward.

also, my buddy and i had nothing in common. we had nothing to talk about. 

she was super feminine. i was a tomboy.

no matter how femininely i dressed, I WAS A TOMBOY ON THE INSIDE. i felt most comfortable in gender neutral and even masculine clothes. but i couldn't express myself in that way because i didn't want to stand out any more than i already did. it was more socially acceptable for people AFAB to wear bright, glittery, girly clothes, anyway. 

i'm just going to say it: i didn't like my buddy. and i don't think she liked me. 

i remember seeing one of my classmates letting her buddy sit on her lap and feeling like i'd failed at forming a bond with my buddy. i thought my buddy was sorely disappointed in having a buddy like me. 

i'm so sorry our teachers were morons, s. 

PS - on a poster we had hanging in my class, there were photos of us with our buddies. i didn't notice that my buddy and i were being photographed and so you can see the genuine expression on my face: pure misery. 

my perspective on dolls as a child

i was not a dolly girl. i thought dolls were hideous. for the most part, i was only interested in LPS critters when i was a child. i knew about barbie, but i didn't care for her. she was too large a doll for my liking and i couldn't relate to an adult doll. i wasn't a huge fan of her realistic face and would have preferred something cuter/more stylized. her tiny head on an elongated body also wasn't very appealing to me. 

when LPS started adding blythe dolls to their sets, i found they were dolls i actually liked! their outfits were cute and imaginative. their faces were adorable. they weren't these giant adults. (now i wish i'd taken better care of mine because their outfits are falling apart or missing, their hair is ruined, and they have permanent ink marks all over their faces. woe is me.) i realized these were the types of dolls i wanted to play with: small and child-like (meaning big eyes & large heads, i guess. never mind the fact blythes had breasts).  

i could never understand the appeal of an adult doll to a child. it made no sense to me. i've always wondered how a child could actually enjoy playing with barbie and like. 

since learning that my position on dolls as a child is not too dissimilar from the philosophy behind a certain line of "anti-fashion*" dolls, i ask myself, "would i have wanted these as a child?" 

my answer: i can't say for sure. i'm pretty sure i would have loved how the eyes looked, but since i was obsessed with blythe, i would've thought those "anti-fashion" dolls were proportioned too much like barbie. i would've automatically thought about how i could fit those dolls in with LPS, and would have judged them as too tall. (thanks, blythe!) 

another thing: the outfits of the "anti-fashion" dolls. i'm sure i would've found a few outfits cute, but certainly not all. one thing about blythe was that her outfits were fun and creative. a lot of the "anti-fashion" dolls' clothes look like ordinary clothes you'd find in stores. i would've thought those everyday outfits were boring compared to blythe's. 

sorry, not sorry!

*"anti-fashion"- synonym for "L-ttie"

emotionally abusing whore

there's a w**dg**l fanfiction that's super popular called "saving t***y" 

there's so. much. praise for it by emotionally immature t(w)eens. 

i haven't read the whole thing, but i've read enough to know this:

w**dg**l/b***y is NOT responsible for "saving" t***y. The only person capable of saving t***y is t***y himself.

t***y should make the conscious decision to change. he should seek out professional help from, you know, someone WHO IS QUALIFIED TO GIVE IT. (what, do therapists not exist in the w**dg**l-verse?)

"love/affection" won't fix him. "validation" won't fix him. "bribery" won't fix him. 

NONE OF THAT WILL WORK IN THE LONG TERM.

i have an axe to grind with this toxic-ass ship because t***y reminds me of someone who treated me like he treats w**dg**l. like a goddamned accessory. it's not a pretty picture. it's absolutely soul draining. 

read the first amendment

another rant post...

a user on letterboxd told people to STAHP drawing an air-headed anime character as a serial killer/drug addict. FUCK U if u do this!!! SHE'S JUST AN INNOCENT GIRL.

excuse me???

but people can draw what they want.

you made the choice to get offended.

stop trying to take away/limit people's artistic freedom. don't impose your values left over from the puritans on anyone. 

and that's rich coming from someone who fetishizes being homosexual and makes fanart of straight characters being homosexual. 

imagine someone getting offended at your gay fetish art and telling you to STAHP. THOSE CHARACTERS AREN'T GAY!!! 

now you know how immature you'd have to be to tell people to stop drawing stuff that causes you to clutch your pearls. 

supa annoying >:((

if ur doing commissions, then by all means, do them! but only if you actually have skillz and don't resort to tracing bases/other art! i saw an amateur artist selling coms on ko-fi for $5-15. THEIR ART WAS GARBAGE. they haven't gotten any commissions so far. sorry, bud, but there's a reason why!

i'm now considering doing commissions someday...

but unlike that untalented adult mentioned above, i'll actually be fetish friendly ;)

(apologies for such a snarky rant; i just can't stand people who think they're all that and a bag of chips. have they not seen the art of professionals who do commissions for a living? and then have the audacity to think their shitty art can compete. like imagine an adult believing they're so high and mighty that they're convinced their grade-school level art is worth anything. they get a few compliments on their art on social media and now they think they're a Master Artist™. yeah, no. people are just being nice.)

PS: this "artist" is not mentally challenged or anything so DON'T COME AT ME WITH YOUR PITCHFORKS

im not a crybaby when my mom hits me

i havent cried ovr a vaccine since kindergarten. i found it so funny when my 3rd grade teacher asked me "did u cry?" when she found out i got vaccinated that morning. like bitch im a physically tough cookie! my favorite childhood game was wrestling! ;))

and in 2nd grade a bunch of staff(?) at the doctor's office i went to came into the room that i was in where i was about to get vaccinated. i have no idea what those extra ppl were there for and i remember that one woman was broadly smiling at me. as i got vaccinated and didn't cry or show any emotion, her smile fell. i was like suck it, suckers. 

READ THIS RN OR DIE

STOP APPROACHINGME WHEN IM WORKING ON STUFF AT COLLEG. I DONT WANT TO READ YOUR PROTTEI PBBILBE OR GIVE YOU MONEY FOR FREE OR WHATEVR THE FUCK THAT GUY WHO SPOKE TO ME LAST WANTED. EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU WHO IS ASKING FOR MONEY IS A CON ARTIST. WHY DONT YOU WORK TO EARN MONEY INSTEAD OF BEGGING STRANGERS FOR IT. IF YOU WOULD LIKE A JOB, I'LL HIRE YOU! I'LL MAKE YOU BE MY SEX TRAFFICKING SLAVE WHERE I MAKE YOU PROSTITIUTE YOURSELF FOR MONEY!!!!! OR I'LL REFER YOU TO A PYRAMID SCHEME SELLING SNAKE OILS!!!! THE CHOICE IS YOURS!!!!!!!! #BUILDINGTHEPYRAMID 

i typed this up instead of paying attention in math class and i don't regret it one bit 

UPDATE: found out they're soliciting donations for their cult leader who's wanted by the FBI

pbs bitch

LOLOL why did i make a cringe blog called caramellasregularlifebutfunnierthanyours when i was 11 years old LOLZ i just spat out a bunch of cringe into the world & someone downloaded one of my middle school slideshows from that cringe blog and uploaded it to slideplayer.com and i can't figure out how to contact the admins or someone to TAKE IT THE FUCK DOWN CUZ IT DOES NOT HAVE MY PERMISSION TO BE THERE.